so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I got inside last night via doggy door
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
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