I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
