..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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