gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
Outta milk. Using rum instead for pancake mix. Drunk Thursday is a gooo
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
