I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
