my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he got up in front of the whole lecture hall and yelled that Charlie Brown's Christmas tree was his favorite book in the history of the universe. then he stumbled out the fire exit setting the alarm off. I could've jumped him right then and there.
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
