I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
cat food counts as protein by the way
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize