i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
is it fun? or sober?
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
