Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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