I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I got her a Nickelback box set.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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