Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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