we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
