I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
