FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
