I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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