I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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