she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
