is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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