Apparently you make a good broom.
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
