Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
