Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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