at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
