We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
