its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
