Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
