holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
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