I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Randomize
