The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
Randomize
