I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Randomize
