Who did Billy Mays play for?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
