Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
