Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
i wonder what barack obama's brickbreaker high score is...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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