What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
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