I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
