I got chris browned last night
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
