I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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