is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
