Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
