16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
