p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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