so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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