I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
