I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
Rumble strips road head = magical
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Randomize
