Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
I ripped ass in on and around her face during a hard 69. I don't think she'll ever call me again.
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