So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
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