Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
