New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Randomize
