I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
