walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
