If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
