i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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