I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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