hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
try to milk me bitch
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